Can You Read Non-Verbally?
About the Author
Ben spends most of his time working with underprivileged kids in Tijuana, Mexico, encouraging them to continue their education. He's an unofficial member of Iglesia Bautista Monte Horeb, which runs the elementary school, Centro Pedagógico Didaque.
On my first ever short-term mission trip, I was part of a team that built a house for a single, young mother of a handful of small children. At the time I would have done just about anything for the family. In fact, I did—sort of. Just a few months later I was back down in the same neighborhood where our group built two more homes. To my delight, I was able to find the young mother after a couple hours of searching. I was thrilled! The experience was super emotional. She asked me for money to buy food and I unloaded my wallet. Wow, was I grateful for the opportunity to be there and help. For the years to follow I thought about this family and their little home frequently.
I believe this is common of short-term mission trips. They’re impacting, stirring, unforgettable, and life changing. However, now that I’ve lived in Mexico for several years, I look back on my short-term mission trips with some embarrassment. I don’t boast that I now have belt-notches of wisdom, but I do look at the same scenery through a thicker lens.
Quick, true, recent example:
Veteran missionary who comes to Tijuana a half dozen times per year for a dozen years, running a medium-sized ministry, raises funds for the surgery of a local Tijuana resident who is “on his death bed.” The funds are sent with great urgency to me and the local pastor I work with because the missionary won’t be back for another month. After many frustrating attempts trying to persuade the man to go in for medical studies, the pastor and his wife conclude that the “dying” man abuses help on a regular basis and does not want the surgery but does want the money in the form of cash.
The experienced missionary, not happy with our progress and report, sends out another local he works with to attend the man. Very quickly, the local man comes to an identical conclusion: the “dying” man abuses help and wants the money in the form of cash.
The bummer about the entire scenario is that the missionary surely had good intentions, as did the donors of the money. Yet two connected lessons can be pealed off the top. One, there are people who abuse free gifts; and two, locals are much better at reading non-verbal communication.
March 4th, 2007 at 12:52 am
Again you are so right…One of the most important points that we tell all our team members is not to give anything without first asking a team leader who will discuss the situation with a local worker. Almost every trip, someone means well, but breaks that rule, and almost every trip, we have a little mess to clean up ! Besides gifts from us should only be small keep sakes, anything more should be given through the local workers. …..Not letting the right hand know what the left hand is doing!….. Its you guys on the front lines that the locals kneed to develop a bond with..
blessings.