The “Other” Culture HAS Reason
About the Author
Ben spends most of his time working with underprivileged kids in Tijuana, Mexico, encouraging them to continue their education. He's an unofficial member of Iglesia Bautista Monte Horeb, which runs the elementary school, Centro Pedagógico Didaque.
Two hours ago I met a middle-aged señora for the first time. Raquel asked up front, “So, are you married?” “No, I’m single, but I have a wonderful girlfriend”, I replied quite content. “Oye, what do you mean girlfriend?”, she scoffed. “A dating relationship does not exist in the Bible”, she said with umph.
Wow!, I thought to myself. That’s the second time I’ve heard that in the last month—both from Mexicans. It is true, that Mexico is part of the “old world” where the man “robs” the young girl from the nest. And it is true that Mexicans are spur of the moment, making quick decisions based on the gut. And it is true that the “noviazgo” (a courting relationship) is not discussed directly in the Bible.
Well? Not so fast! Jacob knew Rachel for over seven years before he “consummated” the marriage. He knew her for one month, then worked to get her for seven years, and then waited at least another week to finish off his honeymoon with Rachel’s older sister, before they got together. A bit strange? Definitely. But they seemed to have “dated” in some sense of the definition.
One more example: Mary and Joseph. They were pledged to be married. The Message says that Mary was Joseph’s fiancée. So, there you have it. For sure Jewish dating customs were not like that of the U.S., but I’ve made a loose point.
Ok, so what’s the point of this article, and how does it relate to missions? It relates great I say. For sure I’ve made a point—holes can be poked in it—but I’ve made a point. Raquel also made a valid point; the Bible does not address the noviazgo directly. Is this a Mexican-Amercan cultural difference? I think so. Coming from entirely different backgrounds we come to entirely different conclusions—both of which are backed up by biblical principals. What’s this mean? God-fearing Christians of different cultures are going to butt heads. Unworkable? Heck no. But it needs to be recognized that there’s more than one way to think about a topic and there’s more than one way to get something done.
Going into another culture demanding that whatever it is that you’re trying to accomplish be done like so because that’s how it has worked at home, is DISATROUS.
May 3rd, 2006 at 11:09 am
I think part of the problem started with reasoning of “_____ is not in the Bible, therefore it is suspect.” The Bible contains the records of different people making sense of their relationship with God in different cultures from a long, long time ago. It’s a little naive to think that everything is discussed in the Bible, or that we can make a direct, one-to-one correlation with practices from biblical times.
By the way, I love the blog!!! It’s what we have all been waiting for!!!
May 9th, 2006 at 9:17 pm
I would have to agree with my friend Todd, I love the blog, and we have been waiting for it!!!!!
A lot of good thoughts here! I like your thinking! I think we should be friends ;)
May 11th, 2006 at 9:36 pm
Good point Hobie1. I agree.
So, I guess I should have come up w/ a better example for legitimate cultural difference in idea. I’ll try and come up w/ one.
However, back to the point you made, can you think of another thing we do or don’t do in today’s culture (for good reason) that is not found in the Bible?
May 18th, 2006 at 8:27 am
I actually liked your biblical and cultural reasoning just fine. My comment was kind of off the main subject and was just addressing the premise that the person started with who was questioning the legitimacy of dating.
It’s hard to think of a good example of something done today in our culture(s) that was not done in the Bible and that does not involve changes in technology. Cori pointed out to me that dating is an act of personal importance like virtually none other, and it is hard to think of other current cultural practices that could match its importance to an individual and yet not be found in the Bible.
The best that I could come up with is the “vote.” Dating is essentially one means for a society or culture to choose to navigate the transition from getting people from being single to married, and eventually to child-rearing, in order to perpetuate and contribute to the society. There are probably at least a few other choices that exist for accomplishing this purpose, such as arranged marriages by the parents and probably some others I don’t know about.
Similarly, voting is a cultural/societal process through which an individual participates in the selection of his or her political leaders. It, as well, is not really found in the Bible. In the Old Testament, it seems as if political/religious leaders were chosen mainly by Divine fiat. Either that, or the leaders ascended to the throne based upon being related to the king, or they took the leadership position by force. In the New Testament, the people of Israel were a conquered and oppressed people who had been subjugated by the Roman Empire and were in no position to choose a political leader; the leaders were appointed by Rome.
Are we then to refuse to participate in the modern, democratic political process simply because it is not found in the Bible, though it is found in our culture(s)? I don’t think so. This may not be the greatest example, but its the only one I could think of that came close to dating in involving the personal choice of an individual vs. the choices of others around the individual.
May 26th, 2006 at 9:42 am
Hobie1,
I think you did come up w/ the greatest example! That’s perfect!
Most all rational people on earth today, collectively agree that the right to vote (whether they actually cast the ballot or not) is an essential part of a free society. No one would not want the right to vote. And as you laid out, it’s not found in the Bible w/ regards to the Israelites. The only exception maybe the choosing of Matthias to replace Judas which went a little Vegas-style.
I think it’s safe to say that dating, like voting, is very important–even though it’s not directly found in the Bible.
If anyone else reading this has got another example, let me know.
Thanks for your imput Hobie1.
Ben
May 29th, 2006 at 11:36 am
It was kind of funny, after I posted that, I ran across a book where a Baptist was arguing that democracy was the preferred way of doing things in the NT church. He gets that from a shaky argument based on the translation of a Greek verb in Acts 14:23 and II Cor. 8:19 (I think that was the 2nd one). So, I guess not everyone would agree with me. I’d be interested to hear of other examples too.