Cultural Blunder

To me, inefficiency in the U.S. is a cultural blunder. I become quickly frustrated when someone in front of me arrives at the cash register unprepared or when an employee would arrive late to work. With the U.S.-mindset, efficiency is ranked high on the scale of values. Bring that mentality down across the border, and you’ll become annoyed, burned-out, and inefficient yourself.

Last weekend I attended the wedding of a good family friend. I had advised the bride’s family that my wife, Cynthia, and I would arrive late due to a prior engagement the morning of. They said, “No problem!”—just as long as we would make it. Wow, that’s great, I thought, the Mexican culture sure is forgiving about time; we can arrive late, and everybody’s happy.

Cynthia and I spent the morning at her nephew’s birthday party and then drove 30 miles in hot and heavy traffic to the wedding. On the way I began thinking of all the things on my to-do list for the next day. Quickly I came up with three mandatory items that would take two hours a piece. Oh my word, that’s six hours! —I murmured to myself. I’ve got to make this wedding quick and get out of here!

We snuck in the back and caught the last twenty minutes of the ceremony. Perfect! Eat a little cake and we’re on the road. Upon entering the reception I advised the bride’s father that we’d only be able to stay a half-hour. “No problem!”—he chuckled. “Have a good time.” He ushered us in and sat us down at the table of honor along with the bride and groom. This is going fantastic, I thought to myself. Arrive late, split early, and nobody cares!

At 29 minutes and counting I stood up and said with authority, “Let’s go, Honey.” Cynthia queried me, “Are you sure?” “Yah,” I responded, “they know that I’m on a tight schedule.” “Ok,” she shrugged, knowing that I had no idea what I was doing.

I cordially walked up to the mother of the bride, thanked her for the spectacular evening, and said goodbye. “No!” she screamed (and she did scream). As if I was deaf and dumb I responded that “yes, we were leaving,” turned and walked away. At the party’s entrance, I issued the same news to the bride’s father (after all, he had been previously warned). No yelps out of this man, but he did look at me with great disappointment. I thanked him for the wonderful wedding, shook his limp hand, and walked out toward where my pickup was parked. Cynthia said nothing. With each step, however, I realized that I had made a massive cultural blunder. If efficiency is high on the U.S. scale of priorities—family and loved ones are equally important in Mexico. I had greatly offended the hosts.

I admitted my revelation to my wife: “I think I’ve offended them.” She broke her silence: “Well of course!” “I did?”—I asked, just in case I didn’t hear her the first time. “Mucho, muy”—she replied with confidence. I looked at my dusty shoes. “Uuh…uuh…I have a lot to do, Honey.” She shrugged, knowing that there was only one right answer. “They’re really offended, huh?”—I asked again. This went on for another two (boring for my wife) minutes until I finally conceded. “Ok, let’s go back.”

With a wee-bit of embarrassment I asked the bride’s father if we were forever banned from the reception. “Come on in!”—he gleefully exclaimed with a hug. We sat back down and were served immediately by the mother of the bride.

Thank goodness my wife is the wiser.

This entry was posted on Monday, July 9th, 2007 at 7:34 am and is filed under Culture. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.